All of this is me

When I used to think about having Asperger’s Syndrom (I’m sure a shrink would have a field day with with this) I think that there’s me and then there’s the Asperger’s side of me. I was constantly trying to figure out what was me and what was the Asperger’s. I began to tire of pointing out that I did something because I had AS, like a seperate entity is controlling me. While I struggled with this, others who did not understand AS, just saw me as Asperger’s, and no me at all.

I finally came to believe this:
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If you could teach people one thing about autism, what would it be?

Source: If you could teach people one thing about autism, what would it be?

Last month I ran an autism survey, inviting anyone associated with autism to fill out: whether they were autistic, cared for someone with autism, or cared about someone with autism. It unexpectedly got 472 responses.   I’m still going through the data, and it’s both arduous and eye-opening. But by far the most interesting part…

The Hug

I don’t hug people too often. It’s not that I freak out if I hug, but I don’t like hugs like some people. I do it as an obligary jester when someone wants a hug.

So, why did I just write a random tidbit about me? I want to write a rant, and that was my preface.

I have a neighbor that knows I have asperger’s, but still treats me normal. In fact, I thought she had forgotten about it, until today. We were talking a while about important things happening in our lives. When we were all saying goodbye, everyone was doing their hugging and such, so I reached out to hug her. This is when it got awkward, and for once it wasn’t me.

She acted shocked, exclaiming how honored she was that I would hug her. She was so happy, like she was the first person I had ever hugged. We hugged, and because of her shock, it felt very odd. Like history was being made, like she was the special person that got the autistic girl to touch her. She hugged me long and hard, relishing the moment. And suddenly, I hated her hug. Her skin felt sticky and clingly, her body too hot for me (temperature), it was suffocating and I couldn’t pull back fast enough.

I hate it when people make a big deal out of things about me, especially normal thing.

Rant over.

An informal rant about individual differences in autism and why the extreme male brain theory should be axed

This is along the lines of what I’ve been thinking about lately. I’m glad Aspertypical wrote this. It conveys this subject well.

Aspertypical

individual-fish-image-resized

I think the fundamental problem of why we cannot understand the difference between males and females with autism is because we look at the condition as a overriding layer of a person’s self, and do not consider that whilst this does colour a lot of our thinking and behaviours, there is still the influence of personality, external inputs such as society, gender, past experiences, birth order, star signs, past lives (too far!?). The point is we are all individual and unique already, and the autism mixes in with that. For example, when you see two people experiencing depression they may appear nothing alike. One may be bed bound, refusing to eat or talk, they have completely given up on life. Another may be found sobbing loudly at work as soon as anything goes wrong, telling people she’s just met about the Prozac her Drs recently prescribed her and how her…

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I lost my password

Can you believe it? Me, who remembers every password I’ve ever had, all the passwords my mom and sister has ever had (in a non creepy way. They tell me their passwords so if the forget them, they can just ask me), lost her password and the password to the email linked to this blog.

Well, I’m back.