How touching…

I have gone a couple weeks at a time where I haven’t touched anyone. Maybe a brush in a crowded store, but even that I instinctively try to avoid. It’s a weird feeling when I try to remember the last time I actually touched someone and I cannot remember. I’ve read enough studies that prove how physical touch has so many positive benefits, and I decide to try to reach out more, literally, and touch the people around me.

Here is what happens:

I’m constantly trying to find the right moment. I think about draping my arm around my sister’s shoulders, but freeze. I just can’t. Everything inside me is fighting it. Maybe a hug? I freeze even more. So I try to think of an easier way to touch, and my brain freezes. I can’t think of another way.
Then I start thinking: What’s the point of draping my arm around her shoulders when that would awkward and my arm is perfectly fine where it is. What’s the use of a hug right now? That would even be more awkward. My brain then goes to how weird hugging is. We wrap our arms around another person, then squish to pull tight, and hold. That’s weird.

By then, the moment is gone, and I’ve gone another day without touching anyone, only I agonized over it that day.

*featured image credit unknown



  1. Aspergian · April 30, 2015

    I dread being around touchy-feely people.
    The social obligation to touch and all that makes it all the more irritating.
    I don’t think you should ‘force yourself’ to touch (for psychological health reasons, I think I’ve read about that) . Especially if you’re OK when you don’t touch people.
    it’s making you anxious, (which is unhealthy).
    As they say (mostly me); Be your aspie-self!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks. I agree, and like your saying!
      I think I may have made it out to seem like I never touch people and that I cannot, which isn’t true. I’ll hug people if they ask for a hug, and such. I’m just more comfortable not touching people, and dont when I don’t have to.

      Liked by 1 person

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