Today is September 4th

To be honest, I thought having an anonymous blog would make it easier to write, but it doesn’t. It still feels like everyone reading knows who I am. I’m still feel vulnerable, exposed, broken. Being anonymous does not make writing any easier.

The struggles of having AS can be overwhelming at times, most times. I have to remind my logical side that that I truly am lucky, and count the reasons why.

Every day I’m trying to improve, handle things better than before. I tell myself that though I may not be able to handle some (many) things that most people can, I have other strengths that most people don’t. When I have a small success, no matter how pathetic, I encourage myself with it. When I want to give up, I cling to being a writer of stories, and that those stories need to be written. If I give up, who will write them? Sometimes it’s the simple things that keep me going, not the deep philosophical things.

Today is September the fourth, which scares the hell out of me because I see how fast life goes by, but today is today, and its all I have right now. So I take another breath, and another, and another. There are so many stories I want to write, and today I did better handling someone yelling at me than I did yesterday.

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4 comments

  1. Gone Wild · September 4, 2015

    Henry Ward Beecher said, “We shouldn’t judge people (or ourselves) by their peak of excellence, but by the distance they’ve traveled from where they started.” That said, when I feel the worst is usually when I fail to do something that everyone else seems to find easy – like making simple plans to go shopping or to visit someone, but not being able to follow through. It sucks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • different kind of wallflower · September 4, 2015

      Thanks. Great quote. It seems like the little things that are the hardest. Those are what really get to me. It is about the journey, but those times during the journey makes you forget it’s a damn journey, a process.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. wotsbooks · September 23, 2015

    As a blogger I like the option of anonymity. I’ve chosen not to be as I also write books but I do accept that when I’m writing a blog I’m almost giving over a part of myself but even when writing a book you end up doing the same and I some ways it can be quite liberating. My wife who has aspergers is with cats as you are with your writing and this was evident when you asked who would write these books if you did not. She is very much like that with cats.

    Liked by 1 person

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