I don’t know if I’ll marry.
I don’t really want kids.
This drives my Jewish mother crazy. She doesn’t believe me,
It’s not that I hate men or kids, I love them, especially men. (And they love me back.)
I cannot imagine that I’d be happy in a marriage. I’m too independent, yet too dependent. I’m odd, to say the least. I don’t long to be in a relationship like all other single women my age (26). If I could, I’d be happy living by myself, with my dog, going to work, coming home and writing novels or poetry tahe rest of my time, maybe hiking every few days.
I know I would make a shitty wife, definitely a terrible mother. I know I’m selfish, and think too much about my writing. I don’t want to play the game of relationships, I actually don’t know how to in all honesty.
Guys tell me that I’m fun to hang out with and wish more girls were like me. That I would be a fun girlfriend to have. I always feel like saying: “the reasons you like me are the same reasons why you wouldn’t like me.” I never tell them that or that I have AS. I just laugh.
My mother says when I meet the right guy everything will change. I don’t know, maybe. He has to be one hell of a unique guy to be able to handle me.
I really don’t see that happening and I’m fine with that. I never really daydreamed about my wedding and such. I have other daydreams.
My poor Jewish Mother.
(side note: every time I hear the word marriage I hear in my head Princess Bride “Mawwiage”. If you haven’t read the book, you NEED to. Of course it’s better than the movie, and seeing that movie was great….)